For me, it's a tie between two absolutely epic fails: the CUMA-RAM "Tactical" Pen and the Titanium "Quick Draw" dangler. The CUMA-RAM is effective as a poky kubotan thing but it's completely useless as a pen due to the dual-threading design. When you try to screw off the cap to write, it takes off the whole tip of the pen, exposing the refill. I was completely humiliated in a meeting a few years ago when I literally could not open my fancy aluminum pen and had to borrow a plastic one to take notes. I had to use pliers afterwards to get the cap off. I tried leaving the cap loose thereafter, but the pen functionality is 100% unreliable. Then there's the hilariously misnamed titanium "Quick Draw" Key Chain Clip. I often use either a TEC P-7 or a Pangea Pickpocket clip, both of which work brilliantly. I bought this" Quick Draw" dangler thinking it combined the best of both--the minimalism of the P-7 and the bottle opener of the Pickpocket. What I stupidly failed to realize is that the cap-lifting hook on the "Quick Draw" catches on literally every pocket. They should call it the Rip Draw.