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Situation...

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by sloopy70, Jan 30, 2011.

  1. Monocrom

    Monocrom Loaded Pockets

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    Forgive the stupid question. But just to be 100% sure . . . Are we actually talking about divorce?

    The Big "D" to some of us means "Death," and how to deal with it. Whether it's a loved one, good friend, or even a close aquaintence. So just to clarify; which one is it?
     
  2. sloopy70

    sloopy70 Loaded Pockets

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    Yeah, that's what were talking about... In my case it hasn't happened yet, but looks to be inevitable...
     
  3. jsmitty1967
    • In Omnia Paratus

    jsmitty1967 Go Big Blue

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    I lost my mom at 26 to cancer. If you think that is a relevent perspective feel free to PM me.
     
  4. dimeotane

    dimeotane Loaded Pockets

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    @sloopy70
    I really feel for you man! I'm sorry to hear your situation. I know from experience that marriage is really tough, and I hear divorce is utter hell for about a year.

    You might want to take a look at Talkaboutmarriage.com which is a good forum with threads for people considering divorce or going through it. There are many people going through what you are, and you are not alone. Most marriages are not working out these days.

    Also if you can, look into if your employer covers any kind of health coverage for a licenced therapist. You might need a doctors note first, "for marriage stress". They may require it to be a psychologist with a masters or PHd. When you feel like your marriage is falling apart it can be excellent support for an hour. Some employers will cover the cost of 6 hours annually.

    Even better is if she will agree to join the session with the marriage therapist to talk it through. Talking it through may take a few sessions but it can help reduce the anger and brewing hostility at home between you.
     
  5. sloopy70

    sloopy70 Loaded Pockets

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    No, I'm not a troll, just haven't had a chance to get back to this thread really since I started it. I guess I might as well throw it out in an open forum for everyone.

    Basically my wife has told me she wants a divorce many, many times, but over the last year I've realized it's just a bully tactic... She's in nursing school (clinicals), has no family in this state, and doesn't work because of time devoted to nursing school. I treat her perfectly fine, but she always finds something to yell at me about, is terribly possessive down to the point of getting ****** if I go visit my parents 5 minutes down the road. I'm a really laid back guy, and just let alot of it roll off of me. I'm 28, she's 24. I bet I've heard the word divorce over 200 times in our relationship but I just tell her she's being dramatic aNd play it off. I am the sole provider for us (no kids) so I would think she'd have a little more tact about things, he'll Atleast be appreciative... There's so much more to it, but there's the basic gist of it...

    PS: Don't feed the trolls...
     
  6. attorneyadrian

    attorneyadrian Loaded Pockets

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    Geez, sorry to hear that. Sounds like a pretty awful situation.
    Have you tried to talk to her about the situation when she isn't mad? Have you considered couples counseling?
    Do you even know if you want to stay with her?
     
  7. sloopy70

    sloopy70 Loaded Pockets

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    Trying to talk to her about it just makes her mad. I think were past the point of couples counseling, and for that matter I believe I may be done with the relationship, but there's the hard part. I still care for her so I don't want to disrupt her nursing program progress because she's worked so hard to get where she is. I just dont know what to do...
     
  8. attorneyadrian

    attorneyadrian Loaded Pockets

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    I think the first thing you need to do is figure out whether you want to be in the relationship.
    If you decide you want to stay with her, then you have some hard work to do. You'll want to try everything in your power to make it work, including some tough conversations and possibly trying couple counseling.
    That way, if it fails, at least you can take comfort in the fact that you gave it your all and you'll have no regrets.
    If you decide you don't want to stay, then figure out the best possible way to exit the relationship with the least amount of disruption to either side.
    At least thats what I'd do. YMMV.
     
  9. sloopy70

    sloopy70 Loaded Pockets

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    Yeah that "least amount of disruption to either side is pretty much what I'm looking for...
     
  10. attorneyadrian

    attorneyadrian Loaded Pockets

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    Unfortunately since you know her and your particular situation best, you'll probably have to figure out that part on your own.
    Sorry dude, wish we could help more.
     
  11. Cervantes

    Cervantes Loaded Pockets

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    It's a (relatively) simple matter if both parties concur, and there is litte property and NO little ones to fight over.
     
  12. sloopy70

    sloopy70 Loaded Pockets

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    Yeah, no kids, we have a 1 bedroom apartment (rent) my truck was paid for before I met her, we bought a car a year or so ago ( she can have it ), other than petty 1 bedroom furnishings that's it...
     
  13. Ghillieman7

    Ghillieman7 Empty Pockets

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    Just went throught this myself, and was able to do it with only one lawyer. I suppose we were lucky that we agreed on most aspects of the matter. Still, a hard row to hoe. Good luck, and God bless
     
  14. Cervantes

    Cervantes Loaded Pockets

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    I did this myself about 8 years ago. Nothing to squabble over and no little ones.
    Went to the law library downtown, you usually run into helpful lawyers about the place that can direct you to the proper docs.
    You fill them out, see a judge to request the dealio and the judge signs the forms. I then mailed my form to get the required signature. Received and filed. Done and done. It's been 8 years, so I'll have to look for the appropriate docs now, may have changed since then.