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self defense EDC for wife.

Discussion in 'Personal Security Devices & Self-Defense' started by baja820, Dec 27, 2013.

  1. Doc18

    Doc18 Loaded Pockets

    Dec 17, 2013
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    This is why I carry a .45 and don't worry about what type of gun in shoot. Just that I'm proficient in the one I have and keep my obsession to knives.
  2. Kilted1

    Kilted1 Loaded Pockets

    Jun 13, 2011
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    Proficiency is key! I think that's what several of the posts in this thread have attempted to get at. Whatever form of self defense, be it a handgun, baton, or german shepherd, some training and practice is in order.
  3. Water-Rat

    Water-Rat Loaded Pockets

    Feb 11, 2013
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    As to the suggestions so far, +1 for flashlights and whistles. In addition to whistles, there are also small air horns designed for use in small boats that can be used to attract attention as well and would easily fit in a purse.

    As a lifeguard, I learned there is a lot you can do to your surroundings to prevent a situation from ever happening. The same applies here. There's no reason for anyone to walk alone across a dark parking lot... Option A: travel with a friend and park in the light. Option B: If you don't have a friend, find security or use your edc phone and call a friend for backup. Option C: carry some light with you. A bright light or a strobe straight in the eyeballs will mess up someone's evening almost as much as a bullet, doesn't require much training to use, and doesn't leave a body and a bunch of legal problems afterward.

    Like most folks, I don't hesitate to walk across a dark parking lot, but you better believe I've got my key fob in one hand and a flashlight in the other. And of course, my car is combat parked under a light pole. If it doesn't look safe, it probably isn't. Criminals look for easy targets. Don't act like an easy target and 99% of the time, you'll be fine.

    Regardless of what you decide to get for her, make sure it's legal and make sure she knows how to use it and is comfortable with using it in a high pressure situation.

    PS - There are many YouTube videos on using flashlights and firearms in tactical situations. I'm a fan of the First Person Defender series on YouTube that puts people in hypothetical gun defense situations. There are a couple episodes that discuss defending yourself with a gun in parking lots/vehicles. Also, search YouTube for tactical flashlight techniques.
    Kilted1 likes this.
  4. twogunmojo

    twogunmojo Banned

    Nov 3, 2013
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    pepper spray will be useless in most cases...if you live in the southwest or anywhere the wind can get up you will end up spraying yourself....a bullet will at least be wind resistance across a parking lot...not to mention that there are at least 750,000 defensive uses of handgun every year which amounts to nothing more than letting the weapon be seen or loudly stating your intention to use the gun you have hidden in your purse or coat pocket...

    if someone attacks my loved ones i want them to kill them..not make them cry with pepper spray or give them some lumps with a baton...

    there is no shortage of choices when it comes to handguns for defensive purposes...a defender derringer from bond arms in .22/.22 magnum or .410 buck shot would certainly give an attacker pause...at 5 inches overall length it would fit into a coach coin purse..,.

    anyone who thinks otherwise can ask george zimmerman and treyvon martin about the old axiom about which is better...

    is it better to be judged by 12 or carried by 6...
    blazinworm and wrath0r like this.
  5. Crippletron
    • GITD Manix 2XL Owner

    Crippletron Loaded Pockets

    Nov 13, 2013
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  6. Crashcx

    Crashcx Loaded Pockets

    Jan 4, 2013
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    Gun. Training. Practice. In that order. A ccw class is not training! There are plenty of business's that specialize in training civilians and military in how to use handguns for defense. Do the research and pick the best one you can afford. I know where I'm going as soon as finish saving my pennies.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  7. acuffj3

    acuffj3 Empty Pockets

    Dec 19, 2013
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    Ruger LC380 or LC9
  8. Mudinyeri

    Mudinyeri Loaded Pockets

    Apr 24, 2012
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    First, I agree with those who have said, "situational awareness." Second, have her take a female-specific self-defense class/clinic and practice the techniques regularly at home. Third, have her carry what she will carry in a position where it can be deployed in a second or less. Whether it's pepper spray, a Tazer, a baton, a gun, a knife ... whatever it is, if it can't be deployed and utilized effectively in just over one second, it will be all but useless.
    Water-Rat likes this.
  9. amacman
    • In Omnia Paratus

    amacman Loaded Pockets

    May 8, 2009
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    How about training, practice, and then a gun? There are plenty of ranges that have a wide variety of weapons available to rent by the hour. That way she/he will have a better understanding of what may or may not make a particular gun suited for them.
  10. paaiyan

    paaiyan Loaded Pockets

    Jul 26, 2011
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    Here's my assessment of various self-defense implements:

    Whistles are crap. You can make just as much noise screaming and it's much more likely to draw attention. Think about it, guys. What's going to pique your interest and demand your attention more readily: a generic whistle that could be in use by a kids sports team practicing, or a blood-curdling scream? And you don't have to grab a scream out of your purse.

    Kubotans are meh by themselves. Carry a flashlight.

    Flashlights can be used for all kinds of things, including as a kubotan. I use my flashlight enough to carry one all the time without thinking about it being a self-defense tool. For self-defense you can stun an attacker with the light, crack a skull with the bezel or harden your fist like a kubotan. Carry a flashlight. Period.

    Peppery spray is good, my wife and I both carry it. It'll work on most people, some people it won't. Keep in mind there's a pretty good chance of getting some spray that floats back to yourself, so you may have to run away while somewhat impaired. My wife and I don't carry pepper spray to defend our lives, we carry it to deter undetermined attackers. Drunks or anyone else who might accost you without expressing the intent to really harm you. You tell them to go away forcefully and they don't, they invade your space, keep advancing but don't seem to really intend to harm you? Hose them down. That's what pepper spray is for. I'd never rely on it to save myself or anyone else from imminent physical harm.

    Knives I prefer not to think of as weapons. I carry one, but I would prefer not to use it that way. Knives are primarily tools for me. If you are close enough to use a knife on someone, they are close enough to use one on you. Knives can be devastating weapons, more so than handguns when used effectively. If you intend to use one as a weapon you'd better know what you're doing.

    Firearms are one of the great equalizers. A man or woman with a firearm and with the resolve to use it is a formidable thing indeed. If you're going to carry one you must know your area's laws, you must get training and you must have the resolve to use it. If you do not have the resolve to shoot someone should the need arise, don't carry a gun. If you pull out a gun and threaten someone with it, but don't have the gumption to actually use it, they're going to see it in your eyes, they're going to take it from you and they're going to use it against you. I would. If the assailant is at a distance or is perhaps trying to break into your vehicle, fire as many shots as are needed to end the threat to your life. If the other person is in a position to close distance and tries to do so, you must not let them have that weapon. Empty it. Preferably into them, but do not let them have a loaded gun to use against you.

    Martial arts training is important for everyone. My wife and I train in krav maga. Our classes are not designed for women, they're designed for whoever wants to learn to fight. We have a training partner who easily weighs 2.5 times what she does and he does not let her off easy. She knows what it's like to be attacked by someone much bigger now, and she knows what it would take to fight them off. It would take everything she has. She'd have to cheat. One of the most commonly practiced skills? Groin kicks. Teach a woman how to put everything she has in a kick to the man's groin and if she lands it, she has a much better chance of getting away.

    Mindset is probably the most important thing. Awareness, discernment and the resolve to fight. Without those, no amount of tools will help. I'd post a link to a blog post I made with a lot more about mindset, but apparently it's not approved.
    Water-Rat likes this.
  11. jackknife

    jackknife Loaded Pockets

    Dec 23, 2007
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    It all depends on the wife. We can make all kinds of recommendations from pepper stay to a gun bearer with a M60 ready to go. But if she doesn't have her heart in it, it's a waste of time. Start of with a can of pepper spray. Not the wimpy little jobs the size of a pen, but the real police size can. It wil give her a solid stream that has a 15 to 20 foot range even in a breeze. And no little 1 second squirts. Hose the low life down. These guys who can fight through it, get a little half second squirt. If you get a good solid stream right into the face, it's going to have a better effect. And the more the merrier. A long second dose is good. Don't worry, there's plenty in the big can. She can keep it in her purse until it's time to go out to the car, then keep it right in hand ready to go.

    If something does happen, her training should be hose him down like a big cockroach. I've yet to see anyone who can keep coming if they get repeated large doses in the face. If the can runs dry, no problem, its cheap to replace.
  12. Nick4305
    • In Omnia Paratus

    Nick4305 EDC Junkie!!!!!

    Jun 6, 2013
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    Honestly think that self defense cannot be reduced in terms of something to EDC useful and sufficient to feel/be/look able to defend yourself.
    Even if you EDC the most valuable and effective weapons (firearms included that in close contact are the most useless), all is imho absolutely useless if you are not able to really, effectively use it for what they are projected for in ONE second.
    Say this intending that if you pull out a gun from your sheath, you have to be ready to pull the trigger in a second if needed, BUT without doing it if not needed... or if you grab out your knife in a while, you have to be prepared to use it to cut somewhere the "enemy", BUT not doing it if the simple act in itself discourage the "enemy" to threat you....
    My honest opinion is that most of all is useful to focus on attention SELF DEFENSE GEARLESS PRACTICE.
    Martial arts, at first place. Especially for women.
    OFFENSIVE self defense courses may be useful as well
    I come from a long term boxe tradition, i'm not scared at all about using my hands.
    But for a woman as your wife, as well as mine, things are really different.
    You have to focus her attention about "self defense active mode", as i explaned to my wife, and to my daughter.
    And training this attitude until this become a weapon.

    So hard for me to explane, sorry, in not my mother language.
    Hope that something was comprehensible, baja.
    amacman, swany66675 and Water-Rat like this.
  13. Talkingstick

    Talkingstick Loaded Pockets

    Oct 22, 2008
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    Some lessons are easier learned than others. If, God forbid, your wife ever gets assaulted, you and she will spend a large portion of your married life trying to cope with the after effects. Indeed, there are a number of marriages that end up failing due to this very reason.
    As a former sex crimes investigator, I can tell you that these offenses are largely crimes of opportunity. Anything that can be done to lower your profile to attack should be considered.
    One very important thing to do when you go out into the public is to learn to act as a team; don't split up, stay together or at least within earshot of one another.
    Determine how both you and your wife would react to a physical assault. Freezing up like a deer in the headlights will not be helpful. Make lots and lots of noise to attract attention.
    At the times when you cannot be together, you must be prepared to confront one or more assailants on your own. The actual location of the assault may be anywhere from walking to your car to within the supposed safety of your own home.
    The first obstacle to overcome is to accept that it can happen to you and if you do not develop situational awareness; regardless of location; it may very well happen to you. You simply cannot walk to your car thinking about what you will be preparing for dinner tonight...you must pay attention to your own surroundings and be aware that you are at greatest risk while in transit from one point to another.
    One good idea is to develop "code words". If someone tells you over the telephone that they have your spouse, you can simply ask for the code word to verify that this is the actual case.
    Look at your own day to day activities when deciding what weaponry, if any, might be in order. If you elect to procure a weapon become proficient in it's operation. A false sense of security standing in the corner of the bedroom closet will be of absolutely no benefit, because under the stress of a physical attack, you won't even recall that it's there. The immediate business of dealing with a physical assault is survival. Are you willing to take another's life to protect your own? That seems to be a silly question, however if you must make that split second decision, it will serve you well to have that question answered and resolved long prior to the actual event.
    Perhaps this response is slightly more detailed than the information requested, but doing your homework in thinking these thing through will go a long way in answering your other questions as to preparing to survive such an encounter.

    One last thought, males are also victims of sexual assault. One of the last cases I worked the victim was a 230lb. Steeplejack. He didn't show up for trial and the crooks walked.
    Last edited by Talkingstick, Jan 16, 2014
    Kilted1 likes this.
  14. CatherineM
    • In Omnia Paratus

    CatherineM Loaded Pockets

    Jun 24, 2011
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    I'm a female and I have been attacked and had to defend myself. It's primal. I've had a variety of self defence training, but used none of them. I fell back on my boxing training because I think I had done it the most so it was kind of muscle memory.

    Whatever she is comfortable using, practice with continually. It's all well and good to know how to use a gun or pepper spray, but if she doesn't practice pulling it out, she won't in a pinch.

    Sent by Owl Post
    Kilted1, Talkingstick and holygoat like this.
  15. The British Are Coming

    The British Are Coming Loaded Pockets

    May 14, 2013
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    I agree that whistles aren't a good idea. Panic can lead to hyperventilation and that would make blowing a whistle rather difficult. Not to mention that trembling hands could easily drop it. A personal alarm would be a better option, one with a pull out cord to set it off. Easy to set off, not as easy to silence and if held against someone's ear it will hurt like hell.
    Water-Rat likes this.