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out of curiousity

Discussion in 'General EDC Discussion' started by terrik_zion, Oct 2, 2009.

  1. terrik_zion

    terrik_zion Loaded Pockets

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    How many of you, who are married or engaged, find that it is a huge issue to your wife/fiance? I honestly think mine might leave me over my edc gear. And yes, I have a decent amount of it, but its mostly hidden/inconspicuous, (shirt over phone, multitool, etc) and yet the very fact that it is THERE bothers her greatly. Mind you, I had a batman utility belt when she and I first started dating, but I scaled back for her and now it still isn't enough.

    Sound off... what do you think?
     
  2. sld

    sld Loaded Pockets

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    My wife wasn't to bothered by my EDC, just kidded me a bit. Now, though, she has come over to our side and carries a couple of lights, SAK, C-wrench and a few other bits and peices.
     
  3. Foskey

    Foskey Loaded Pockets

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    My wife doesn't quite understand my fascination with it. I don't purchase a lot of gear though. I will do 100 hours of research just to pick the right quality hundred dollar tool that best fits my needs. She doesn't appreciate the usefulness of these types of things (Probably, because I am around to fix anything she needs.) I have decided to pick her up small things. Like a Swiss Army Classic I gave to her last week. When she starts to appreciate having that around. I will then pick her up a Micra or a Squirt. I can't expect her to see the usefulness of a super tool or a swiss tool if she can't see the handiness of a classic. It's a work in progress.
     
  4. chemix

    chemix Empty Pockets

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    Engaged, but no big issues here. As long as I'm not spending a lot of money (we're both broke), EDC is fine. She bought me my bag (which I first saw on this forum), and in fact, carries a bit of her own gear in her purse. In addition to the standard purse contents, there is a purple Fenix E01, a pink Victorninox Classic (soon to be upgraded to a Rambler), and band aids. Usually her own edc is enough for whatever she needs to do, but if it isn't, she knows what is in my bag.
     
  5. LivingUpNorth

    LivingUpNorth Loaded Pockets

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    My wife doesn't have a problem with the gear, just the money I spend to obtain it!

    I'm no expert, HOWEVER money matters are one of the biggest causes of relationship trouble, so if you end up spending too much on gear that may lead to trouble.

    When it comes to financial matters, my better half is also my smarter half. When she gets on my case for ordering up too much gear, she's right in doing so. This is just my personal experience, mind you. Everyone is different. You just have to figure out what's really important to you and gauge her level of resistance. Kinda vague, I know, but this is a bigger topic than I can handle before heading off to sleep.

    Good luck! However it works out for you, I hope it's for the better!
     
  6. unterhund

    unterhund Empty Pockets

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    My wife introduced me to Day-Timer. I still carry the wallet, though with an ordinary notepad rather than the special inserts. She's asked to borrow my keychain flashlight in a darkened auditorium. When I started carrying a multitool, she took my SAK. She has my SOG micro knife on her keychain. As long as I don't blow the budget, it doesn't bother her at all.
     
  7. jeeves3443

    jeeves3443 Loaded Pockets

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    Having a multi-tool on your person 'bothers' her?

    Has she explained why? Would it be possible to dispel any fear/bias she has against such items?




    My fiance' doesn't mind, she thinks its 'cute' (I tell her it's not cute, its rugged and awesome).
    So long as I don't go over budget she could care less. Sometimes she'll sit with me while I scour the net for new 'tooyls.' She even has her (own) eye on a few edc items she likes.
    She says she likes the way(see; appearance, meaning) I keep all my stuff organized in fancy cigar boxes on my dresser.


    We seem to be a rarity, though. My friends think so, her friends know so.



    Good luck with this one.
     
  8. Dizos

    Dizos Loaded Pockets

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    My wife always tolerated my EDC-mindedness, but I think she initially thought it was kind of weird. I started giving her small EDC items (they make excellent gifts) which were slowly integrated into her daily routine. She is now a full blown EDC'er herself, though she doesn't seem interested in participating in the forum. If you think of all the items traditionally carried by many women in their purses, it is clear that the EDC concept was, and is, more common with women than men.
     
  9. nbmaine2007

    nbmaine2007 Loaded Pockets

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    I think my wife kind of gets a kick out of it, although she really has no idea how many things I've bought (or for what price) or she'd probably really get on me.

    She rags on me most about the bags I go through, in search of the perfect one. I've always had Leatherman's, so she doesn't think much about that. She sees my Atwoods and probably assumes they're just some $5 tool I got somewhere. If she only knew...
     
  10. landwire
    • In Omnia Paratus

    landwire Loaded Pockets

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    My wife likes to gives me a hard time from time to time. As long as I don't blow the budget and other things are taken care of, she doesn't seem to mind. I've always kept things to a minimum, never used a bag, so that might be why.
     
  11. jeeves3443

    jeeves3443 Loaded Pockets

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    Oh man, I'm so glad most women(particularly mine) don't know what Atwood tools are.
     
  12. bpa

    bpa Loaded Pockets

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    My wife puts up with me.  She always knew that I was something of a geek, and has lived with it for a quarter century+.

    If your fiancee cannot accept you for what you are, don't marry her.
     
  13. inzelique

    inzelique Loaded Pockets

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    +1
    Before we got married I showed my Wife what my obsessions were (Legos, Gundams, Knives, tools) and asked point blank if she could live with it. She said yes, and has been the one who feeds my addiction :idiot2:. I frequently have to tell her "No, not yet".

    So yes definitely, if she cannot accept you how you are now, she never will. :(
     
  14. jag-engr
    • Administrator

    jag-engr Semper Bufo!
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    Terrik,

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but your fiancee's problem seems to be with you having these things, not the money it cost to procure them.

    Have you asked her pont blank why it bothers her? If you can't have a frank, honest discussion about such a simple matter, you might have much bigger issues than her objection to your EDC.

    Is she worried that you look nerdy carrying all that stuff? Or is she embarassed by the fact that you have all those things on you? If she is embarassed by you - either your habits or your appearance or what other people think of her for being with you, you might want to reconsider your situation. If she is simply a militant fashionista who is embarassed for you because she has never seen anyone in GQ carrying a multi-tool and is afraid that everyone thinks you're crazy, perhaps you can work through that. It really boils down to whether it is about her concern for you or her concern for herself.

    Women consider it their duty to keep their boyfriend / fiance / husband looking respectable so that he will be taken seriously in the world. Frumpy, unkempt people are often pushed around at work and elsewhere simply because they do not project as much confidence as neater, better-dressed people. I will probably be severely scolded for this statement, but right, wrong, or indifferent, it's jsut how the world works. If your fiancee's concern stems from this issue, then work out a compromise you can both accept. This is a relatively simple matter and if it can't be worked out, that's a huge red flag.
     
  15. XD_Dawg

    XD_Dawg Loaded Pockets

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    My wife is great about my edc. I keep all my change in a jar and once in a while I put it through the coin star and that is where most of my edc stuff comes from. I try not to spend much out of our checking account. Either way, carrying my leatherman, or anything else for that matter, has never been an issue for her.

    Loving someone and being able to live with them are completely different things. If she is that bad about your multi-tool now you have to ask yourself what will that turn into, and believe me it will shift to other aspects of your life beyond (and maybe more important) than your edc habits.
     
  16. indabayou

    indabayou Loaded Pockets

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    As I stated before somewhere on here my wife brought up my bags,i brought up how many purses and shoes do you have?Pretty much quiet after that.We both work and have separate accounts,but we make sure bills are paid,food on the table and contribute vast amounts of money to the vacation fund.She has seen my Atwoods and know what they cost,for some strange reason she fell in love with the Atwood Chigger and won't leave it alone.Guess it's gone. :rolleyes:
     
  17. spyguy

    spyguy Loaded Pockets

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    I am reposting this for you dont know how to link to a thread my other half wrote this awhile ago and I posted it here
    let your wife read it she may just laugh and understand a bit:
    Hope this helps you
    My Other half told me this today and I had to get her to put it in writing as I found it amusing and I thought I would share it with you all

    In regards to EDC:

    I think there is a problem when your significant 'other' has to wear steel-toed work boots to do the laundry! I can't lift up a pair of pants without half the contents sliding off the belt and onto my foot. It takes at least 10 minutes to empty out all the pockets of shirts and jeans, and add another 5 minutes for those shirts and pants with extra 'hidden' pockets. I am at a point of buying a metal detector to wave over the clothing pile, and no matter how carefully I search, I still listen for unnatural clunking/clanking sounds coming from the washer/dryer, just in case I missed a life saving contraption. Then there is the not quite understanding of why someone buys a GPS (well, yes I understand the GPS part), then buys a pouch/holder thing for it, then needs to buy a bigger pouch/holder to carry the first pouch/holder in. The one tool I will soon find handy though will be the scissors on his Swiss army knife, as this will cut up the Visa card quite nicely! That would be the Visa I stick in my back pocket with my bankcard, as I hate even to carry wallets or purses. Oh, and one good thing about him, he always finds room to carry my keys, so I guess I shouldn't complain too much eh? I think though there should be a forum/thread for those of us who live putting our lives (ok, maybe just our toes) in danger everyday. TIDED Toes In Danger Every Day and loving those who put us there.
     
  18. max6166

    max6166 Loaded Pockets

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    This sounds more like a relationship/communication problem.

    The fact that the topic is EDC is almost incidental - it could instead be sports, comic books, your favourite tie, what to have for dinner, etc. It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that you can resolve problems like this as a couple in a way that you are both comfortable with.

    Personally, I think the first step is to truly see things through each other's perspectives. That can be really hard to do.

    You both have to put aside everything for a moment, and be willing to just really listen and feel what the other person is saying. Often, just doing that will resolve a problem. Basically, it is just truly caring about what the other person feels.

    By definition, relationships always involve changes though. It is up to you to decide whether the changes are worth it or not.

    I think the fact that you are risking losing someone over something like a SwissTool is pretty significant though. I am not saying anything either way - just that it might be helpful to explore the fact in a little more depth.

    I am as much of a screw up as anyone though, so please take anything I say with a big grain of salt... ;D
     
  19. primal

    primal Loaded Pockets

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    I would think that most women/wives would have no problem with EDC, especially since most have carried their own EDC since their young school days.

    That's why purses are so important to most of them, to carry all their makeup & other products, their tools (tweezers, clippers, etc...), and an arsenal of miscellaneous items.

    On top of all that, many still add the usual defensive measures (pepper spray, etc...).

    Have you seen some of their purses and what's in them? Some are so packed, you'd swear they could live out of them for a few days.

    No, I don't thing our EDC would bother most women.

    In fact, it might be a good idea if we got their feedback about how to pack all our stuff. Hey, some gals are very OCD about their EDC, very organized.

    ;)

    Primal
     
  20. tradja

    tradja Loaded Pockets

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    My wife mostly tolerates EDC with mild bemusement and calls me a dork.  Guns were a bit of a challenge (successfully resolved).  It's mostly that she get tired of hearing about it.

    terrik_zion, what specifically is your GF's objection to your EDC?  $$$?  Fashion?  After all, everybody EDC's something, whether a purse, phone, keys, smokes, watch, water, or whatever.  We just think about it more than most.

    ETA: I just read your intro post. Now that you've gotten rid of the Bat Belt, your current EDC is by no means excessive, and also I note that it is comprised of tools that are very reasonably priced. So I guess she's not objecting to the $. I'm more puzzled: what is her concern?