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Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    What are cheese puffs made of?
    Wotsit matter?
     
    #601 asemery, Jun 14, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2020
  2. jag-engr
    • Administrator

    jag-engr Semper Bufo!
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    My fishing partner is really worried about COVID-19, but I can't for the life of me figure out why - he never catches anything!
     
  3. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The spread of COVID-19 is determined by two factors:
    1. How dense the population is.
    2. How dense the population is.
     
  4. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

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    LMAO!

    Am Yisrael Chai!

    Moshe ben David
     
    ran23, echo victor and asemery like this.
  5. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Once I started to read between the lines, I realized that all books were really the same.
     
  6. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll.
     
  7. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If you rearrange the letters of "A Postman"
    he becomes very angry.
     
    Russ Prechtl and Moshe ben David like this.
  8. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Worth and price mean the same.
    Worthless and priceless are opposites.
     
    karlito, Russ Prechtl and ran23 like this.
  9. Tesla

    Tesla Loaded Pockets

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    Except worth and price don't mean exactly the same to begin with.
     
  10. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Second place means that you are the best loser.
     
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  11. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Going by one meaning you are correct. BUT, when people appear on "Antiques Roadshow" they want to know what their treasures are worth (they are told the price).
     
  12. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If you hear any good fish puns let minnow.
     
  13. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    This isn't the plaice for that.
     
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  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.
     
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  15. Tesla

    Tesla Loaded Pockets

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    Long live REO Speedwagon :rolleyes_revamped:
     
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  16. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    “How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?"
    "Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway.”
     
  17. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
    None, that's a hardware problem.
     
  18. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Without doubt, my favorite Robin Williams move is Mrs. Fire.
     
    #618 asemery, Jul 3, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2020
    PragmaticMurphyist and Tesla like this.
  19. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Nothing tops a plain pizza.
     
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  20. woolfam

    woolfam Loaded Pockets

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    The scales are different...