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Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

Page 31 of 37
  1. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    What are cheese puffs made of?
    Wotsit matter?
     
    #601 asemery, Jun 14, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2020
  2. jag-engr
    • Administrator

    jag-engr Semper Bufo!
    Staff Member

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    My fishing partner is really worried about COVID-19, but I can't for the life of me figure out why - he never catches anything!
     
    #602 jag-engr, Jun 15, 2020
    Russ Prechtl, Stormdrane, Nick4305 and 4 others like this.
  3. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The spread of COVID-19 is determined by two factors:
    1. How dense the population is.
    2. How dense the population is.
     
    #603 asemery, Jun 18, 2020
    Russ Prechtl, jag-engr, That Movie Guy and 3 others like this.
  4. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

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    LMAO!

    Am Yisrael Chai!

    Moshe ben David
     
    #604 Moshe ben David, Jun 18, 2020
    ran23, echo victor and asemery like this.
  5. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Once I started to read between the lines, I realized that all books were really the same.
     
    #605 asemery, Jun 20, 2020
    Russ Prechtl, ran23 and Moshe ben David like this.
  6. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll.
     
    #606 asemery, Jun 24, 2020
    That Movie Guy, Russ Prechtl, echo victor and 2 others like this.
  7. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If you rearrange the letters of "A Postman"
    he becomes very angry.
     
    #607 asemery, Jun 25, 2020
    Russ Prechtl and Moshe ben David like this.
  8. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Worth and price mean the same.
    Worthless and priceless are opposites.
     
    #608 asemery, Jun 27, 2020
    karlito, Russ Prechtl and ran23 like this.
  9. Tesla

    Tesla Loaded Pockets

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    Except worth and price don't mean exactly the same to begin with.
     
    #609 Tesla, Jun 27, 2020
    That Movie Guy, Moshe ben David, asemery and 1 other person like this.
  10. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Second place means that you are the best loser.
     
    #610 asemery, Jun 27, 2020
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  11. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Going by one meaning you are correct. BUT, when people appear on "Antiques Roadshow" they want to know what their treasures are worth (they are told the price).
     
    #611 asemery, Jun 28, 2020
  12. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If you hear any good fish puns let minnow.
     
    #612 asemery, Jun 30, 2020
    PragmaticMurphyist and Stormdrane like this.
  13. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    This isn't the plaice for that.
     
    #613 PragmaticMurphyist, Jul 1, 2020
    jimboinwv and asemery like this.
  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.
     
    #614 asemery, Jul 1, 2020
    PragmaticMurphyist and ran23 like this.
  15. Tesla

    Tesla Loaded Pockets

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    Long live REO Speedwagon :rolleyes_revamped:
     
    #615 Tesla, Jul 2, 2020
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  16. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    “How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?"
    "Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway.”
     
    #616 asemery, Jul 3, 2020
    Moshe ben David and PragmaticMurphyist like this.
  17. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
    None, that's a hardware problem.
     
    #617 PragmaticMurphyist, Jul 3, 2020
    asemery, Moshe ben David and echo victor like this.
  18. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Without doubt, my favorite Robin Williams move is Mrs. Fire.
     
    #618 asemery, Jul 3, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2020
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  19. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Nothing tops a plain pizza.
     
    #619 asemery, Jul 4, 2020
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  20. woolfam

    woolfam Loaded Pockets

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    The scales are different...
     
    #620 woolfam, Jul 6, 2020
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