1. Are you a current member with account or password issues?

    Please visit following page for more information

    Dismiss Notice

Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2015
    Messages:
    5,330
    Likes Received:
    6,255
    I get the first 2...

    L'chaim!

    Moshe ben David
     
  2. jemhouston

    jemhouston Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,140
    Likes Received:
    558
    Do you realize Thanksgiving is the holiday we eat the mascot?
     
    Russ Prechtl likes this.
  3. Gaulois

    Gaulois Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2015
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    987
    I just saw myself back in english class in highschool, trying to pronounce such words (as much as "though") with my horrific eastern-french accent ... :confused:
     
    asemery likes this.
  4. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    Theory of relativity explained:
    The relative length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.
     
  5. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2015
    Messages:
    404
    Likes Received:
    719
    I've often thought that bladder pressure is inversely proportional to speed. You pass a sign for a services (rest area) doing seventy and think, "Nah, I'll wait 'til the next one." Then you arrive at standing traffic and...! :eek:
     
    Moshe ben David likes this.
  6. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2015
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    403
    And then there is the length of time, during one final minute of a football game....


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  7. EMarkM

    EMarkM Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    May 6, 2019
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    103
    What’s the difference between a duck?

    One of its legs is both the same.
     
  8. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
     
  9. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    My colleague can not attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I will have to fill her slot.
     
    HeadOffice, EMarkM and Tesla like this.
  10. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
     
    Moshe ben David likes this.
  11. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2015
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    403
    [​IMG] working at the snack bar of the theatre and found this movie next to the sink. “Red Dawn”


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  12. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    When all else fails:
    Stop using (doing) all else!
     
    #452 asemery, Dec 15, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2019
  13. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2015
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    403
    I wanted to post a joke about sodium, but I was like Na people won’t understand


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    When French people swear do they say "Pardon my English!"
     
    Moshe ben David and Russ Prechtl like this.
  15. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
  16. woolfam

    woolfam Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    May 29, 2007
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    331
    A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.

    All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.

    The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline training and loyalty to my master."

    "Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?"

    The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."

    Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."

    Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"

    The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting in my seat."
     
  17. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2015
    Messages:
    5,330
    Likes Received:
    6,255
    @woolfam: ^^^. STANDING OVATION! Reminds me of a book... I think Watership Down, that includes cats, who speak of a creature named in the book "Ma'an". The cats view the "Ma'an" as basically their servant... I'm pretty sure I have this thing about the cats correctly although it is possible this takes place in a different book than Watership Down. If someone reading this knows better, please correct me!

    At any rate, as a long time admirer of felines, the joke was right on point!

    L'chaim!

    Moshe ben David
     
    PragmaticMurphyist likes this.
  18. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2015
    Messages:
    404
    Likes Received:
    719
    "In ancient Egypt, they wrote unintelligible scribbles on walls and worshipped cats. Oh no, hang on, that's Facebook." - Humphry Lyttelton
     
  19. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2014
    Messages:
    1,055
    Likes Received:
    3,382
    New Year's Revolution
    My New Year's Revolution is to learn how to spell.
     
  20. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2015
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    403
    [​IMG]


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk