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Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Tesla

    Tesla Loaded Pockets

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    ...Can't wait to see pics of your black eye!....:)
     
  2. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

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    Ironically, my wife just came home and showed me the new ring she bought. Karma’s a bitch.


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  3. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

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    Looking forward to a report on how that works out... Good Luck!

    L'chaim!

    Moshe ben David
     
  4. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
     
  5. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    When my wife asked me where the TV control was, I had to tell her that I did not have the remotest idea.
     
  6. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I hate elevators and take steps to avoid them.
     
  7. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    Mine always seems to be on the other side of the room. It's well named.

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  8. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

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    You know what kind of knife an electrician carries? A switchblade.


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  9. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    English puns make me numb but math puns make me number.
     
  10. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

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    Political correctness
    Has
    Effectively co-wrecked-us


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    Russ Prechtl and Moshe ben David like this.
  11. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    (Replying here so as not to to derail the original thread.) With the greatest respect to the original poster and without wishing to diminish their annoyance, the above statement does strike me as containing a fair bit of irony...

    ...except it should probably be "coppery".

    (I'll get my coat.)
     
  12. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

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    Always enjoy a little light humor.
    Kind of a dad joke because its full groan.


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  13. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The chemist sees the glass as completely full - one half air, one half liquid
     
  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    3 symptoms of laziness:
    1.
     
  15. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

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    The Dad in me picks up the glass of water holds it up to the light, stares at it, and sits it down saying “ I know there’s a joke in there”.


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  16. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    There should be a button on every TV that would make the remote peep.
     
  17. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I call my pet salamander "Tiny" because he's my newt.
     
  18. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

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    I have to share my granddaughter’s favorite joke, she has told it to me since she was 2 or 3:
    Wanna hear a dirty joke, the pig fell in the mud.
    Wanna hear a clean joke, the pig took a bath.
    She always makes me laugh.


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  19. victograph

    victograph Loaded Pockets

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    I could’t keep army ants in my little ant farm because they are G.I.ants.


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  20. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The three hardest things to say are:
    1. I was wrong.
    2. I need help.
    3. Worcestershire Sauce.