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Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    ...and you're getting really old when you then ask yourself, "What did I come in here for?"
     
    Last edited by PragmaticMurphyist, Jul 19, 2019
    #361 PragmaticMurphyist, Jul 19, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2019
  2. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I was at the BMW showroom today and the salesman asked, "What are you looking for?"
    I said, "Because I can't afford to buy".
     
  3. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I called an old school friend and asked what he was up to. He said that he was working on "aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment." I was impressed

    On further inquiry, I learned that he had been washing the dishes ...under his wife's supervision.
     
  4. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I Googled- "Missing medieval servant",
    it came up with "Page not found".
    .
     
    koni, surefire7, Russ Prechtl and 6 others like this.
  5. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    The advantages of easy origami are twofold.
     
  6. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I have a contact lens problem - I have no contact lens solution.
     
  7. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The word "gullible" can not be found in the dictionary?
     
    rdisom and Stormdrane like this.
  8. koni

    koni Loaded Pockets

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    What swampland critter is the most curious?
    The investiGATOR!
     
  9. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If number 666 is evil, then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
     
  10. Tesla

    Tesla Loaded Pockets

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    That joke sounds a little square..:blink:
     
  11. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
     
  12. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The Norse god of mischief doesn't like to talk about it.
    You could call him low-key.
     
    Moshe ben David, Tesla and Stormdrane like this.
  13. HeadOffice

    HeadOffice Loaded Pockets

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    If 666 is the number of the beast do you what 668 is?



    The neighbor of the beast...
     
  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    A friend told me "I don't believe in coincidences.
    I said "Oh my God, me neither!"
     
    Stormdrane likes this.
  15. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

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    Two groans....

    Moshe
     
    asemery likes this.
  16. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    After (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says :censored: !!
     
  17. quantex

    quantex Loaded Pockets

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    What is the square root of 69? 8-something.
     
  18. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
     
  19. PragmaticMurphyist

    PragmaticMurphyist Loaded Pockets

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    ...and I'm the king of procrastination, I just haven't got around to sorting myself out a crown yet.
     
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  20. Tesla

    Tesla Loaded Pockets

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    Talk to me some other time about procrastination...