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Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.
If I could figure out how the Earth rotates it would totally make my day.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed
I often say to myself, "I can't believe that cloning machine worked!"
I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
If a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a Milk Dud or just an udder failure?
Arrears: What we should wash behind.
Diploma: Whom to call when a pipe leaks.
incongruous: Where bills are passed
The guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’, but he hesitated
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong
I asked the librarian, “Do you have any books on shelving?”
The librarian replied, “yes all of them”.
You can tell an ant’s sex by putting it in water,
if it sinks, it's a girl ant, but if it floats, buoyant.
My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday,
I’ll tell her it’s pronounced ‘spade’ when I give it to her.
Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?
Neither have i, they are like ninjas
To err is human, to arr is pirate.
I have a chronic fear of giants,
it’s called Feefiphobia.
The side effects of my new medicine are irritability and pain in the wrists and hands. And that's just from trying to get the cap off.
I've got a fear of two-letter words,
I get scared just thinking about it.
You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking "I may as well pee while I'm here"