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Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

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    groan....

    Moshe
     
    asemery and Gary Gross like this.
  2. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If I could figure out how the Earth rotates it would totally make my day.
     
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  3. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If you don't pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed
     
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  4. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I often say to myself, "I can't believe that cloning machine worked!"
     
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  5. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
     
    #345 asemery, May 17, 2019
    Last edited: May 19, 2019
  6. Russ Prechtl

    Russ Prechtl EDC Junkie!!!!!

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    If a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a Milk Dud or just an udder failure?
     
    Nick4305, ran23, FLbeachbum and 4 others like this.
  7. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Arrears: What we should wash behind.
     
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  8. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Diploma: Whom to call when a pipe leaks.
     
    Nick4305 likes this.
  9. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    incongruous: Where bills are passed
     
  10. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’, but he hesitated
     
  11. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong
     
    #351 asemery, Jun 11, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2019
  12. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I asked the librarian, “Do you have any books on shelving?”

    The librarian replied, “yes all of them”.
     
  13. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    You can tell an ant’s sex by putting it in water,
    if it sinks, it's a girl ant, but if it floats, buoyant.
     
    Russ Prechtl, ran23 and Stormdrane like this.
  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    My wife told me she wanted a spa day for her birthday,
    I’ll tell her it’s pronounced ‘spade’ when I give it to her.
     
  15. lefty81

    lefty81 Loaded Pockets

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    Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a tree?

    Neither have i, they are like ninjas
     
  16. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    To err is human, to arr is pirate.
     
  17. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I have a chronic fear of giants,
    it’s called Feefiphobia.
     
  18. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    The side effects of my new medicine are irritability and pain in the wrists and hands. And that's just from trying to get the cap off.
     
  19. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I've got a fear of two-letter words,
    I get scared just thinking about it.
     
  20. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking "I may as well pee while I'm here"