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Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    My wife said "You weren't even listening were you?"
    I thought that was a strange way to start a conversation
     
  2. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

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    That's because you like myself have XY chromosomes as opposed to XX chromosomes!

    Yeah I know it was supposed to be a joke. Unfortunately too real too often...

    L'chaim!

    Moshe ben David
     
  3. That Movie Guy

    That Movie Guy Loaded Pockets

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    Well, I thought it was funny.

    Thankfully, so did my wife.
     
  4. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    When I first got a universal remote control I thought to myself, "This changes everything".
     
  5. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    To be frank I'd have to change my name
     
  6. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    If you suck at playing the trumpet that's probably why
     
    JIM, Russ Prechtl and Gary Gross like this.
  7. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again
     
  8. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    On average, every person is the same age
     
    Gary Gross and Moshe ben David like this.
  9. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Some people think prison is just one word. To convicted criminals, it's a sentence.
     
    Russ Prechtl and Moshe ben David like this.
  10. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Three things I like: Eating my family and avoiding commas
     
    #310 asemery, Mar 29, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2019
  11. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Materialism: buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people that don’t matter.
     
  12. Moshe ben David

    Moshe ben David Loaded Pockets

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    Great philosophical point. Where's the punch line?

    L'chaim!

    Moshe ben David
     
  13. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    You got me
     
  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    My friend told me "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he meant well.
     
  15. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    IRS motto: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
     
  16. jemhouston

    jemhouston Loaded Pockets

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    Heard on the radio, "You ever think Squirrel Hell and Dog Heaven are the same place?"
     
  17. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    My wife asked me "What does IDK stand for?"
    I told her "I don't know."
    She replied "you're not much help."
     
  18. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Rats, I forgot to feed the dog."
     
  19. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    My wife was furious at me for kicking dropped ice cubes under the refrigerator. But now it's just water under the fridge.
     
  20. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Let's get rid of democracy. Anyone in favor raise your hand.