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Joke thread.

Discussion in 'The Breakroom' started by Shike, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    One fifth of people are just too tense.
     
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  2. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I wanted to use "beef stew" as a password but it's not stroganoff.

    You know what they say about cliffhangers...
     
  3. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    50% of Canada is a.
     
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  4. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I ate too much Middle Eastern food. Now I falafel.
     
  5. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.

    What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
    Aye matey
     
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  6. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Professional mirror photography is a job I could really see myself doing

    I burnt my Hawaiian pizza ... I should've had it on aloha setting
     
  7. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    I misspelt Armageddon - it's not the end of the world.
     
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  8. landwire
    • In Omnia Paratus

    landwire Loaded Pockets

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    Do you want to hear a joke about ghosts? That the spirit!
     
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  9. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    "I saw a flock of cows on my way to work this morning"

    "Herd of cows"

    "Of course I"ve heard of cows. I saw a flock of them this morning"
     
  10. DSRacing

    DSRacing Loaded Pockets

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    How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?



    Tentacles
     
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  11. charlie fox

    charlie fox Loaded Pockets

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  12. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    My wife told me she thought we’d have less arguments if I wasn’t so concerned about minor details.
    I told her “I think you mean fewer”

    ................................................................................

    Where are average things built? In the satisfactory.
     
  13. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    No matter how kind your children are, German children are kinder
     
  14. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    "Connect the dots" isn't always addictive, so long as you know when to draw the line

    I dooughnut like food puns.
     
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  15. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Batman, the Batmobile won't start!
    Check the battery.
    What's a tery?
     
  16. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    They won't be making yard sticks any longer.
     
  17. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    How can you make your own antifreeze?
    Just steal her blanket
    ..............................................................................
    I have a few jokes about unemployed people but none of them work
     
    #257 asemery, Jul 7, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2018
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  18. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    Whiteboards are remarkable
     
  19. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    This rotation of the earth business really makes my day

    What kind of luggage does a vulture take onto the plane?
    Carrion.
     
  20. asemery

    asemery Loaded Pockets

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    1. RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
     
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