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Is The Onion making fun of us?

Discussion in 'General EDC Discussion' started by maxray, Feb 25, 2014.

  1. maxray

    maxray Loaded Pockets

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    :)

    Headline: 'Man Who Keeps Keys On Carabiner Must Rappel Into Office Building Every Morning'

    I can't link to the page but you should be able to find it.
     
  2. MatBlack

    MatBlack Loaded Pockets

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    Is The Onion making fun of us?

    Who cares?
     
  3. kertap75

    kertap75 EDC Junkie!!!!!

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    I'll have to read that, sounds funny. In my area everybody seems to have a cheap carabiner on their keys. So they probably aren't making fun of people who consider themselves EDCers but just the use of biners in general
     
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  4. SAKplumber
    • In Omnia Paratus

    SAKplumber EDC Junkie!!!!!

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    Man Who Keeps Keys On Carabiner Must Rappel Into Office Building Every Morning

    Okay...that was weird.
     
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  5. tmedina

    tmedina EDC Junkie!!!!!

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    The Onion makes fun of everyone. It's as much about people who drop $8+ on climbing grade carabiners as a fashion statement to hold keys.

    In my defense, I also use carabiners and 550 cord to improvise carrying solutions. :p
     
    hunter s gatherer and SAKplumber like this.
  6. Gravy

    Gravy Loaded Pockets

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    Imagine having to rappel into an office building every morning.... :nah_disagree:
     
  7. Kilted1

    Kilted1 Loaded Pockets

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    Okay, I don't know if any of us rappel into work every day but I'm pretty sure that at least a few of us are prepared to if necessary. ;)

    The keys on a carabiner thing, I kind of get. It's easy enough to clip to a belt loop if you don't want them in your pockets. While there are more elegant solutions, it's simple and it works.
     
  8. hunter s gatherer
    • In Omnia Paratus

    hunter s gatherer EDC Junkie!!!

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    Haven't read the O in ages. It started as a neighborhood satirical rag in NYC if my mind remembers correctly. I'd wonder what Mad would do to "us"?
     
  9. UnivTex34

    UnivTex34 Loaded Pockets

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    I know right??!!?? I might actually enjoy my morning commute!!!! Oh wait, this was sarcastic, wasn't it??
     
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  10. Grinch

    Grinch Banned

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    if I'm gonna rappel into the office at work there better be free doughnuts some where to test my mission impossible rappelling skills .:ninja:
     
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  11. indigo_wolf

    indigo_wolf AKA Breezy

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    1. We only seek to emulate our betters.
    2. We don't need no stink' zipline, we have grappling hooks.
    3. If they have an issue with carabiners, they would probably have a coronary over:
    Commuters sail to work on parachute wings
    Shanghai Daily, November 14, 2012

    Commuters weary of traffic may find it a fanciful idea to travel by parachute gliding, but that is what a group of middle-age people are doing every day in Zhuzhou City in central Hunan Province.

    A local gliding club has more than a dozen members, between 30 and 50 years old, including government officials and company managers. Many choose to fly to work, Hunan-based Changzhutan Daily reported yesterday.

    Equipment varies but can include a small motorized frame attached to a parachute-like sail or non-motorized hang-gliders that ride wind currents, usually after a rider jumps from a height.

    One of the gliding commuters is Zeng Daxia, a sobriquet that sounds like "knight Zeng" in Chinese, a 42-year-old civil servant and a retired professional parachute jumper, the newspaper said. He is a senior member of a local glider club.

    "After work, I would go to an open space along the Xiangjiang River and fly home directly," Zeng told the newspaper. "We love freedom. Our worries will blow away when we are flying."

    Eight of the members frequently fly between home and work. Members sometimes fly together, sharing a very cool and efficient means of travel.

    "I'm serious in the office but I become a different person once I put on my glider gear," Zeng said.

    The gliders' story has made a headlines on many websites in China. A reader named Zhang Long noted, "The Chinese government is planning to open low-altitude air space to private aircraft. It's good timing for this paragliding sport."

    While it may seem like a luxury sport, Zhong Bo, the club's coach, said gliding equipment can be had for 30,000 yuan (US$4,815), the paper said.

    "Ten liters of octane 93 gasoline is enough for a three-hour flight and a round trip between Zhuzhou and the province's capital, Changsha, nearly 132 kilometers," Zhong added. Octane 93 gasoline is priced at 7.67 yuan a liter in Hunan.

    Zhong also suggested that people should obtain certificates from the China Air Transport Association and General Administration of Sports before gliding.

    ATB,
    Sam
     
  12. AK Adventurer

    AK Adventurer Ice, Ice, Tigre

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    Now THAT is Cool!
    Thanks for posting it! :cool:
     
  13. zatoichi

    zatoichi Loaded Pockets

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    As a gear junkie who did not get the memo on using d-rings for keys, I have to check out prices and get with the program.
     
  14. Ironside

    Ironside Loaded Pockets

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    I thought it was funny and made me realize I hadn't checked out the Onion for years so I looked around the site. Their new videos are hilarious its way more sophisticated than I remember but the same classic tongue in cheek, smug and ironic comedy.
     
    maxray likes this.
  15. Al Effendi

    Al Effendi Loaded Pockets

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    Man Who Keeps Keys On Carabiner Must Rappel Into Office Building Every Morning
    NEWS IN BRIEF • Local • Men • ISSUE 50•08 • Feb 25, 2014

    CHICAGO—Upon spotting the blue carabiner connecting his keys to his pants’ belt loop, coworkers of local software engineer Peter Slotnick speculated Tuesday that the 34-year-old man must rappel into their office building every morning.

    “After seeing the way Pete carries around his house keys and electronic office-door fob, it’s obvious to me that he begins each day by gliding effortlessly down a rope along the exterior of the building, skillfully bouncing off the façade every 10 feet or so,” said colleague Eileen Pickering, adding that after he descends to the 14th floor, Slotnick likely pushes off one final time before bursting through the window into the conference room, rolling across the floor, brushing bits of glass from his clothing, and seating himself for the company’s morning meeting.

    “I bet while we’re all taking the stairs or walking to lunch, he’s swinging over alleyways or maybe zip-lining his way around the city on a network of secured steel cables. He probably just clips that thing on and away he goes.” Coworkers added that the small Swiss Army knife Slotnick keeps on his keyring must come in handy on days he needs to skin and field-dress large game on his commute home.
     
  16. WruceBillis

    WruceBillis Loaded Pockets

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    My sides hurt

    What brand of Carabiner should I use if I'm forced to start repelling into the office?
     
  17. ManVsLawn

    ManVsLawn EDC Junkie!!!!!

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    I wonder what the office budget is for Broken Glass/Window Repair...

    But now it is personal, Onion.com ! Insults thrown willy-nilly about carabiners & SAKs...
     
    maxray likes this.